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Comedic Monologues

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Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

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Play: Seussical, Character: The Cat in the Hat

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Stories? We all spend our lives telling them, about this, about that, about people...

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Play: Talking Heads, Character: Lesley

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I am a parrot. But I have no parrot's body...

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Play: Seascape with Sharks and Dancer, Character: Ben

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You can't handle the truth!

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Play: A Few Good Men, Character: Colonel Nathan R. Jessup

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My mother says that from the first I was attuned to my own with a kind of serious separateness that’s pretty rare.

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Play: The Heidi Chronicles, Character: Heidi Holland

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Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see a story of murder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery and treachery—all those things we hold near and dear to our hearts.

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Play: Chicago, Character: Billy Flynn

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Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery...

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Play: One for the Road, Character: Victor

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Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.

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Play: Romeo and Juliet, Character: Romeo

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It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.

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Play: An Ideal Husband, Character: Lord Goring

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I ate the divorce papers, Charles. I ate them with ketchup...

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Play: Goodbye Charles, Character: Gabrielle

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My task of being a prophetess is, as it seems to me, paradoxically bound up with all that is transitory and accidental in this world.

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Play: The Love of Don Perlimplin and Belisa in the Garden, Character: Marcolfa

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If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended...

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Play: A Midsummer Night's Dream, Character: Puck

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Never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, I... I cannot say goodbye...

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Play: Death and the Maiden, Character: Paulina Salas

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I'm not a bit changed—not really. I'm only just pruned down and branched out.

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Play: Pygmalion, Character: Eliza Doolittle

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Do you ever dream of being something so different from what you are that you can scare yourself?

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Play: Mauritius, Character: Jackie

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